Mortimer Moriarty
He is fascinating, so engaging, eyes that sparkle with delight
He’s known as Mortimer Moriarty, Kerry’s number one
He’s a mine of information, got a penchant for libation
He’s the greatest in the nation when all is said & done
All the time he has a smile and it’s the warmest on the isle
So raise a glass to sweet old Mortimer and go tell everyone
Diddle dee idle dee, diddle dee idle dee, fiddle dee idle derry o
A-diddle dee fiddle dee twiddle dee dum dee, diddle dee idle dee
He changed his name & rearranged it so the English could pronounce it
And I’d say that’s jolly decent after all the blood we spilled
All the land we grabbed in violence and the families that we silenced
And especially all the hatred with the Irish heart we filled
Now it’s never too late to make amends and start again as friends
So have a piss into my Guinness and I’ll drink it with a will
Diddle dee etc
Oh god I’ve wandered off the subject, started waxing about the tragic
Someone pour me some more magic and I’ll carry on me tale
It was Mortimer in Kerry, sure he made me feel quite merry
Soon as I got off the ferry he brought sunshine to my day
Though me accent’s not authentic I can say it because I mean it
I’m at home in County Kerry ’cause he made me feel that way
Diddle dee etc
So to sum up, if that’s possible, you can take it or not as gospel
I’ve a soul I left in Ireland, and to me it’s very dear,
On a campsite in Cahersiveen with sunsets like I’ve never seen
You’re treated like a king or queen, of that you’ll have no fear
So there’s an advert for you Mortimer and I won’t charge a Euro
Just as long as we get the same pitch when we come again next year
Diddle dee etc
Yes he is fascinating, so engaging, eyes that sparkle with delight
He’s known as Mortimer Moriarty, Kerry’s number one
He’s a mine of information, got a penchant for libation
He’s the greatest in the nation when all is said & done
All the time he has a smile and it’s the warmest on the isle
So raise a glass to sweet old Mortimer and go tell everyone
Diddle dee idle dee, diddle dee idle dee, fiddle dee idle derry o
A-diddle dee fiddle dee twiddle dee dum dee, diddle dee idle dee